These are external links and will open in a new window. There's a stereotypical image of the kind of men who go to prostitutes. But how do they explain paying for sex?
Fred and Laura go on walks, take weekend breaks away, amble round markets and often have meals out. In Fred's kitchen, while he prepares the evening meal, Laura sits and giggles, admitting it was a good job she wasn't the one cooking. The debate about whether there's something wrong with buying sex, and whether it should be illegal, is heated and unresolved. Amid the debate, however, one question is rarely asked - what motivates men to pay women to sleep with them?
Fred lives in a remote rural area and for many years he was a full-time carer, looking after his mother. He says he didn't have a chance to meet people - so decided to pay for sex. In every other way we got on like a house on fire, but just not in bed. The idea that human beings could be for sale is ethically controversial. Yet sex workers often say they don't sell their bodies but, like other workers, simply put a price on their talents and skills.
They argue that, if sex work was decriminalised and destigmatised, the associated problems would mostly disappear. Is there anything wrong with selling sex? While Robert sees paying for sex as a way to preserve his marriage, Graham, in his 30s, thought it might be a way to avoid the complexity of relationships altogether. For the first 30 years of his life, former civil servant Graham thought he would never be the sort of man who would pay for sex.
But one weekend in Amsterdam he found himself walking the streets of the red light district with some men he had just met. It felt really romantic, it felt like we were condensing a relationship into just a couple of minutes. Reflecting on his previous relationships and painful breakups, he wondered: "Maybe you don't need to do any of that. Maybe you can pay and have these just incredible moments of spontaneous, all over in half an hour⦠just⦠magic.
